he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
