It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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