Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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