even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
