"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
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