yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
