we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
BRING THE BAGELS
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize