whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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