Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Randomize
