I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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