Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Randomize
