I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
