This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Sorry my hands just texted you
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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