put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
