Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
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