dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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