The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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