I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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