after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
