I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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