She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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