its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
