I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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