is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize