You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
