I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
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