i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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