What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
