you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
So vagazzling was a success
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Randomize
