pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
