my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
