If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
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