You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
God I need to hump something, right now.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize