he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
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Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
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i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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