Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
