Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU