PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it