I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
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i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
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STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.