Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
