I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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