too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
i will never coherently bang her
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
