she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize
