I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize