Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
