wanna go halves on a baby?
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
