i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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