My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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