You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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