On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
