5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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