I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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