24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
