I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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