i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
