My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
