wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
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