listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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