I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
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