: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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