We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I touched a dick in church today
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
