haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
