Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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