i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
